Another Poem!

I'm just hitting you with all kinds of stuff this week.

Inexperienced 

The vastness of oblivion,

bedazzled,

hovers.

Inhaling and exhaling the sky.

The water’s lapping.

The crickets chirping.

The cicadas buzzing.

I squirm.

Electric tension mounts.

The inch between us a canyon.

I want to.

Well… I want you to.

The galaxies blur and fade.

I glance,

your face.

You’re looking.

I look.

Giggles.

Our gazes return to heaven.

Palm up.

So obvious.

Just grab it.

A twitch.

I watch as you squeeze… and then stretch… and then drop your hand.

Sigh. Palm down.

But then, I itsy-bitsy-spider crawl it towards you,

rest it dangerously near,

and then hook it in a pinky promise.

All while outlining Ursa Minor.

Your move.

More Poems

So many posts this week!  Lucky you.


The End.

Hands tick continuously,
so fast.
Ninety-seven years past,
time races conspicuously.

Quick and rapid downfall.
One week
and she's so weak,
can't get out of bed at all.

Exhausted, curled up
in fetal,
looking so feeble.
Can you bring her a cup

of life water from
that fountain,
so she can climb a mountain
again. Listen to the heater hum.

Tears flow softly,
door closed.
Gotta keep it composed.
Make yourself some coffee.

How long will it be?
Weeks maybe,
though none can foresee.
Months? I'm guessing three.





Friday Night in the Village - 1999 (a Pantoum)

Humdrum is the village.
Twelve legs pumping.
Consider it a privilege
to run and fall "Tub-Thumping."

Twelve legs pumping
up and down the street.
To run and fall "Tub-Thumping."
consider it a treat.

Up and down the street,
the flashlight dance if cops,
Consider it a treat
of fun that never stops.

The flaslight dance of cops.
See the bubblegum dish
of fun that never stops,
correctly count and wish.

See the bubblegum dish.
The unfortunate ones did not
correctly count and wish
so they rob and get caught.

The unfortunate ones did not
grow up in BFE.
So they rob and get caught.
That's life unfortunately.

Grow up in BFE,
humdrum is the village.
That's life unfortunately;
consider it a privilege.

*I would like to point out that most of my class had no idea what this last poem was about although they seemed to like it.  I don't believe in having to explain poems but in this case I will (although most of my readers should understand.)     1. "Tub-Thumping" is the song by Chumbawumba that goes I get knocked down but I get up again...  2.  The cops and robbers in this story are figurative (except in the second to last stanza.) It refers to the childhood game so aptly called Cops and Robbers.  3. Bubblegum dish is another childhood game played either in jump rope or in order to decide who is "it." Bubblegum bubblegum in a dish, how many pieces do you wish? 4.  BFE is slang for in the middle of nowhere.  For a more literal definition, see Urban Dictionary.

Prayers

After I posted that last post I realized I had some more to say.

So this month has been really weird for not only me but a lot of people.  You know how they say that bad things happen in threes? Well, I'm close to a second set of three.  First, my cousin Tanner died at the beginning of this month.  She was 12-years-old and has been severely handicapped her entire life.  It's a miracle that she made it this long, but it's still hard, especially for her mother and sister.  Then my great-grandmother recently found out that she has cancer, and she's not doing too well.  She just celebrated her 97th birthday, and although I couldn't be there, I know that it was a bittersweet birthday for the family.  I really just hope she holds on long enough for me to come home and visit which will be in about three weeks.

Then I found out that one of my fraternity brothers lost a close friend.  Not a week later, another brother lost her dad.  And then three days ago I got this e-mail:

Dear Brothers,
 
 I just received this information this afternoon.  Sarah Wallace, who pledged Spring 2008 and graduated  2010,   passed away last night due to complications of her epilepsy.  
The only information I have is her brother found her this morning.  As soon as more information regarding arrangements becomes available I will let you know.

LFS,
Jo

Sarah was one of the first people I met as a pledge.  She was my grandbig, which means that she was my big brother's big brother.  Sarah came back to Dayton and was attending grad school here.  I didn't hang out with Sarah much outside of APO things but she was one of the kindest, most sincere people I have ever known.  No one, besides her close friends, even knew she suffered from epilepsy.  She had no idea what would happen when she went to bed that night.  Her last facebook post was a comment on how nice the weather was and how she hated that she had to go to class.  How unbelievably normal is that? I still get overwhelmed when I try to think about it.  I tried to write about it, but all I could do was explain what happened.  What's worse is that I can't be there for my brothers who are grieving much more than I am.  One of my best friends was roommates with Sarah, and I know she's going through a really hard time.  The chapter had a memorial service tonight and many alumni traveled from as far as Cleveland to be there.  I tried to talk to my friends here, but they just can't understand the bond between me and my brothers and how devastating this is.  And it may seem shallow, but when is it appropriate to delete Sarah from my phone? From facebook? Is it ever?  Is it morbid not to?  I think I will next week, after the funeral. 

Our APO Family is named Ohana.  This is our immediate family: Dana, Laura, Sarah, Me, Megan, Emily, Stephanie

Please keep not only me but also, my brothers, Sarah's family, my aunt, and great-grandmother in your prayers.

RIP Tanner - February 2, 2011

RIP Sarah - February 17, 2011

Serious Business

So, I've come to the conclusion that when I wait this long to post something, I kind of forget the things I did since my last post.  But in all fairness I am really busy.  Yet somehow I still manage to waste an unbelievable amount of time surfing the internet.  It's the conundrum of my generation.

Anyway, I do know this: I started my internship at Skyhorse Publishing this week.  So far, it's been really enjoyable.  I'm doing so many different things.  I'm updating spreadsheets for the sales department.  I've looked through about 100 out of 350 manuscript proposals--really I only printed them out, but in the process I got to read them.  I've done a "reader's report" for a book about solar homes and green living, which essentially is me giving my opinion about whether we should take on the project.  I've compiled ancient vampire stories from multiple documents into one.  I've searched and downloaded images for a surfing reference book.  I've also gotten the boss coffee and a bagel, sorted through the editor's receipts and helped to re-organize the book shelves in the office.  All of this and more in a 19-hour-week.  All-in-all, I really really like it.  I don't love it yet. But I really like it.  The office is fairly small and the atmosphere is pretty casual--jeans are acceptable.  It's okay for me to listen to Pandora as I work. And everyone is generally pleasant and kind.  So, yeah, I like it a lot.

I've also started training at Emack & Bolio's, which is an ice cream and coffee shop.  Um... well.  Let's just say I'm more excited about my unpaid internship.  I say this because my boss is a sexist, stingy lesbian, whom I cannot stand.  The shop is really cute and the food is really good (according to her it's perfect.)  But my boss is trying.  She is seriously the cheapest person I have ever met.  She scrapes the 1/2 a teaspoon of ice cream from the lids of the tubs because it's like what ten cents?  She scrapes the chocolate off the dipped cones until there is hardly anything left.  I was yelled at on my first day for "wasting" a 50 cent cup.  She is anti-franchises.  She constantly bashes on Starbucks.  Which is all fine, but pair that with her condescending and patronizing attitude and it becomes a little hard to bare.  She is also extremely sexist.  The only reason I mention that she is a lesbian is because it helps you to understand the amount of discontent she has for the male population.  She currently has one male employee that was working with me and she just treated him like he was an idiot.  When he went to make copies of the menu, she told him "don't go to the men, they never do it right."  I was warned about her sexist attitude before hand but I never imagined it would be this severe.  Out of the men that came into the store that day, she really only was overly-pleasant with a regular who, you guessed it, is gay.  Oh and also, she is unbelievably needy.  If you don't answer you're phone or call her back, I swear she has a panic attack.  Before I even started training, she called me probably 3 times a week.  Many of the calls were completely unnecessary. I mean, I could go on forever about her, and I've only worked with her for 4 hours.  But I'm trying to remind myself that I'm getting paid, an extreme 8 dollars/hour that she almost fainted over when she read it on my application.  And that in all honesty, I can quit if I really hate it.  However, I haven't bought a single shoe or article of clothing since I've been here and that needs to change soon.

Hopefully tomorrow, actually. Since it's president's day and I don't have work or class, I'm planning on going thrift shopping in Brooklyn.  But really, thrift here doesn't mean 5-dollar sweaters it means the average 20-dollar sweaters, because normally they are like 50 dollars.

Besides the internship and job, I've been trying to keep up with homework (and doing a really good job of avoiding it,) going to a couple of plays, and just hanging out waiting for the weather to get better.  We had a BEAUTIFUL day on Friday but it's back to being frigid.

About to get busy

I know I haven't updated in a while but I've been busy, and I'm about to get busier.  On top of class and homework, I'm going to be the new intern at Skyhorse Publishing, Inc. and the new employee at Emack & Bolio's (Ice cream for the Connoisseur.)  Starting Monday, I'll be trekking up to 36th Street at least three times a week to work in the fairly new (2003) and fairly small publishing house.  As the internship is unpaid, I'm waiting to here back from E&B about training hours.  So things are looking up.  Thanks to everyone who's been saying prayers for me.

Not much has been going on as the semester is now in full swing.  I've attended a few plays including the Broadway show Billy Elliot, a student production of Closer and a post-modern opera called Mosheh, which is the story of Moses but instead of the Nile, he floats down the Hudson.  Let's just say it was super weird and I'm pretty sure a couple of people left in the middle because they couldn't handle it any longer.  I was close, but I was in the far corner from the door.  But hey, it was an experience.  The last play I saw was today called Dead Fish.  It's a coming-of-age story of family, love, and an obnoxiously suicidal girl?  It's hard to explain but it was my favorite so far.  It was really funny, the writing was excellent, and the acting was phenomenal for such a small theater.  I could definitely see it becoming the new indie rom-com.  So far, I haven't paid for any of these shows, which is fantastic.  Next Tuesday, I will be enjoying the opera La Boheme.  For $25 I will be sitting in prime orchestra seating, which means bottom floor center, aka $200 seats.  Being a student is so nice.

I'm so over this weather though.  It's not that much different than Ohio but it's so dreary all of the time.  I miss the sun.  And I can't wait for it to get warm.  I also miss stars.  That's one of the first things I'm going to do when I come home is go out to the park at night and just look at the stars.  I think I've seen like 3 since I've been here.  Having said that, I was blessed today to go to an art exhibit called the Park (I think.)  Essentially it's an indoor park with fake grass and fake trees and fake sunlight.  It was so nice just to go in and have a picnic and pretend that it was spring.  They also have giant pillows that you can lay on and take a nap, read a book, or mack with your boyfriend, which was going on a lot.  There were a bunch of kids running around, playing with balloons and being adorable.  It was nice.  But it's only open through this Monday, so I'm going to hopefully go back tomorrow and get some homework done there, just because it's much less depressing in there than it is outside.

And only because some people (ahem... my father) have been begging for pictures of me, 

here is one of Amy and I from the park.  Clearly nothing has changed.

Poetry

Faith

There is a freedom in youth.

Pure, innocent and uninhibited.

A fiery passion for truth

that needs no proof;

blind faith unlimited.

There is a freedom in youth.

An energy, once loose,

now caged and committed

to passion and truth.

I once was so sure, yet uncouth,

because I was fully acquitted.

There is a freedom in youth.

Blame my sweet-tooth

that I’ve now pitted

passion against truth.

Stop hounding me sleuth

for I’ve admitted,

there is a freedom in youth

and in fire, passion, and Truth.

Unforgiving 

Melted snow mocking

my boots. Puddles too deep to

pass without drowning.

Bitter wind cutting

my skin.  Jackets too thick to

walk without sweating.

Picture Update

Rachel from (possibly) Pennsylvania and Peter from Colorado

.

Okay, so I've still been really bad about taking pictures.  I promise to get better.  And it has nothing to do with the persistent nagging by my readers, but for my own want of tangible memories.  Either way, I have included two pictures in this post.  The first is the only not-blurry picture I took at the Moth Story Slam on Monday night.  The theme of the slam was witness, which was kind of a difficult one.  But it started off on a high note with stories of a teleprompter flub; a spoon drawer consisting of three Mormons: a brother, sister, and brother's crush; American's joining a kamikaze sing-a-long in a Japanese shanty bar; and so on.  But things went down hill after intermission.  Some drunk girl attempted to tell a story about--no, I'm not even going to try to tell you what came out of her mouth because it made absolutely no sense.  I almost booed her, that is how bad she was.  And then there was a guy trying to be cool giving us a rehearsed story of his drug-crazed, whore-filled trip to Mexico, and it ended with something about a donkey?  Don't ask, I'm not exactly sure.  There was a possibly crazy man who may or may not have been on the cover of TIME Magazine, talking about Nixon.  Let me remind you, he may have possibly been crazy.  And the rest were duds.  The upside: the host of the night, or hostess rather, was Sara Barron.  And she was friggin hysterical!  I kept waiting for the stories to be over so I could hear her filler stories.  You can look her up if you want.  And you'll probably want to look up "spoon drawer" on urban dictionary.  So I guess that sums up my Moth experience.  I'll probably go again and hope that the douche-bag drunk girl doesn't come back. 

This next picture is of Amy and I waking up in a Australian boy's bed in Harlem.  

No I am not lying to you, that is the truth.  Daniel (I think I previously mentioned him) lives in Harlem with another Australian chum, and he made dinner for Amy, Monica and myself.  His roommate was not home that night, and Monica did not feel well.  So instead of taking the train home, we just slept there.  He slept in the living room, in case you were wondering... because the bed could not fit the four of us.  There is not much of a story there.  We ate dinner and jammed to some 90s music, because I'm pretty sure Australia is stuck in the 90s.  His favorite song is "Don't Let Go" by En Vogue.  Again, not lying.  Oh, Sunday morning though, Monica and I were really craving some soul food.  I said that I would settle for either chicken and waffles or biscuits and gravy.  We were out of luck though, not because there was a lack of chicken and waffle places but because NOTHING is open in Harlem on Sundays. So we settled for bagel sandwiches.  We will be returning for some delicious soul food though.

Oh and lastly, I have a small favor to ask of my readers.  I have an interview on Monday for a possible internship and I'm currently waiting to hear back about a job.  So keep me in your prayers.