Prayers

After I posted that last post I realized I had some more to say.

So this month has been really weird for not only me but a lot of people.  You know how they say that bad things happen in threes? Well, I'm close to a second set of three.  First, my cousin Tanner died at the beginning of this month.  She was 12-years-old and has been severely handicapped her entire life.  It's a miracle that she made it this long, but it's still hard, especially for her mother and sister.  Then my great-grandmother recently found out that she has cancer, and she's not doing too well.  She just celebrated her 97th birthday, and although I couldn't be there, I know that it was a bittersweet birthday for the family.  I really just hope she holds on long enough for me to come home and visit which will be in about three weeks.

Then I found out that one of my fraternity brothers lost a close friend.  Not a week later, another brother lost her dad.  And then three days ago I got this e-mail:

Dear Brothers,
 
 I just received this information this afternoon.  Sarah Wallace, who pledged Spring 2008 and graduated  2010,   passed away last night due to complications of her epilepsy.  
The only information I have is her brother found her this morning.  As soon as more information regarding arrangements becomes available I will let you know.

LFS,
Jo

Sarah was one of the first people I met as a pledge.  She was my grandbig, which means that she was my big brother's big brother.  Sarah came back to Dayton and was attending grad school here.  I didn't hang out with Sarah much outside of APO things but she was one of the kindest, most sincere people I have ever known.  No one, besides her close friends, even knew she suffered from epilepsy.  She had no idea what would happen when she went to bed that night.  Her last facebook post was a comment on how nice the weather was and how she hated that she had to go to class.  How unbelievably normal is that? I still get overwhelmed when I try to think about it.  I tried to write about it, but all I could do was explain what happened.  What's worse is that I can't be there for my brothers who are grieving much more than I am.  One of my best friends was roommates with Sarah, and I know she's going through a really hard time.  The chapter had a memorial service tonight and many alumni traveled from as far as Cleveland to be there.  I tried to talk to my friends here, but they just can't understand the bond between me and my brothers and how devastating this is.  And it may seem shallow, but when is it appropriate to delete Sarah from my phone? From facebook? Is it ever?  Is it morbid not to?  I think I will next week, after the funeral. 

Our APO Family is named Ohana.  This is our immediate family: Dana, Laura, Sarah, Me, Megan, Emily, Stephanie

Please keep not only me but also, my brothers, Sarah's family, my aunt, and great-grandmother in your prayers.

RIP Tanner - February 2, 2011

RIP Sarah - February 17, 2011